Shattered Mirror

Lying under the white sheet

staring at the plain, smooth roof.

Twirling a strand of my hair,

trying aimlessly to gather my thoughts.

Want to taste the tear, gushing through my eye.

Want to feel it chilling my burning cheek.

Wondering, where is the pivot point of my life.

Suddenly, a melody spreads in my room

And my flesh starts turning sour,

goosebumps are tantalizing the surface of my bare arm.

I remember I heard that melody with you.

When you had your best garb on.

When I deemed in you and your

ornamented lies.

When I lived decades in few seconds.

When I felt complete and healed for

the first time.

When I felt secure in your arms.

When I rejoiced in your little successes.

But then, the mirror of perfection got

shattered.

You provided me with my worst nightmare “Aloneness” and you left.

and you left.

As you wanted peace.

That my soul failed to give you.

But you said, you were a chaos.

Yes, you were right there, you

were indeed, a chaos.

But you didn’t tell me that you

were a thief too.

You stole my peace with great dexterity.

You deprived me of my only possession.

May you not have it!

I am slipping out of the bed now,

Taking heavy steps, fastly.

Blocking my ears, calming the

tumultuous waves inside me.

I have stopped the melody

and I am going to fool my organs

once again.

Like I did, when I was with you.

Just a heartbreak !

It’s worth it to leave the baggage early and unattended.

I have stopped living for a while, just breathing enough breaths to keep me alive. Hopes, aspirations and dreams, I have buried them for a while. My energy is draining with every passing second, sinking in the depth of guilty, bitten by mistrust, leaving my mind in a worse condition, thanks to the heartbreak.

This isn’t the first time, I had had many heartbreaks before but this one is one of its kind. My fingers know, what alphabets to press to put the words on this screen. The effusive lava of mixed emotions of failure, deceit, and fear is coming out of my chest. I know, one moment I am productive but in the other moment, I am a decaying corpse.

This heartbreak stands out above every other heartbreak, defeat, and fear, I have ever encountered. My RELATIONS and PRINCIPLES had been at stake this time, yes, I had been constantly feeding lies to the ones who had put their trust in me. My every organ is condemning me and cursing me for their illegal use that I had made so nonchalantly. My every part is in a rebellion against me. I am tired of soothing the chaos prevailing in my soul and in my body. I have wronged myself and I have wronged them. I stayed aloof to my principles and my theories and KARMA got me. I dilapidated myself in front of him, so badly. I can picture his waves of laughter and his fists clapping upon my defeat, the one defeat, where I surrendered myself without even retaliating.

I am not positive about myself right now, maybe after decades, when I ‘ll be my true self again, I ‘ll reflect on my previous life, my bruises and scars would be long gone at that time. I think I should prepare myself for the upcoming good days. If my heart can break multiple times, it ‘ll find a long lasting cure too. My organs have forgiven me, finally, my heart and mind have finally agreed on a resolve, MY SELF PRESERVANCE, and REJUVENATION. It’s time to come out of my bubble, not to take revenge, not to avenge my wounds but to finally put things right for my own self. After all, it’s just a heartbreak and I am not alone in this thing.

Image courtesy : Pinterest

Eternal Decay

They used to say love is selfless

I used to say it’s baseless.

Then, I too fall in love,

He was moon, I was earth

He was so high, I couldn’t reach him.

He asked me to ascend myself to

see his world.

I was too good, to climb those steps.

All I wanted, was his soul, 

enough to heal my bruises.

All he was interested, 

in the folds of my body. 

He said, love is to submit and rule others.

Was I too aloof to his lust

or thought it was his  love.

He dragged me into the depths of murky

 waters and mud.

My soul smeared and never got

 purification till this time.

He said, my views are orthodox, 

but he once admired 

the same orthodoxness.

My self pride, vent in vain.

He , cleansed his sins in some other rain.

My honor got polluted and mutilated,

I was too good to care,

I adorned myself with the scars he gave.

I was again on the earth, 

he was still on sky.

They say, I was blind, I was shameless.

They say, I am honorless, ceaseless.

They say, I ain’t good enough to be loved.

If love is all about nakedness,

may you get a naked soul 

and an ornamented body.

Let it parch the last dew of lust,

 lingering over your mouth. 

Then make you fall at its tips.

Humans are naked, 

naked thoughts and hollow heart.

Love, is an illusion, 

trapping people in its confusion.

Beauty has to end, 

so that their lust can take rest.

Soul is eternal, the only thing, 

that will be raised above the heavens.

Love is selfless

Love is baseless.