For I was ready

For I was ready to walk in the cheap hotels with you.

I was ready to be gazed at, by the society, for you.

I was ready, to be judged, by them, for you.

For I was ready to cling to you in your hardest times.

I killed my fantasies and broke the perfect image of everything.

I put my doubts to sleep, an eternal sleep.

For I was ready to love you with all my might.

I was ready to betray them, who never betrayed me.

I was ready to make an acquaintance with your demons’ vices.

But there were things you weren’t ready for.

You were empirical with the world, solely.

And Solicitude was my utmost abode.

You were good with words and rituals,

that fed your purposes accordingly.

You had your pockets heavy with solutions.

One of those solutions was, sweeping me off,

from your life.

For I had burdened you, with MY hopes of US.

You left, leaving me with the burden of You.

Mirthful, I am, that you left.

Because every stone pillar, can not warrant sanctuary.

 

The time is tough,

jumbled thoughts,

mumbled desires.

Memories of few

glories I had once

lived.

Moments of ecstasy I had had 

once felt.

In those moments, I felt whole.

Few lies, I knew about from 

the onset. 

Got seduced by them and truth

got mutilated.

I disturbed the natural balance. 

I hid myself from God,

little did I know,

God sent him to 

shatter me. 

He broke the perfect

scenery.

Scarlet color seeped through

every stroke of brush.

The scenerey wasn’t devoid

of colors though. 

Those colors weren’t mine colors.

Fate created some horrid Art.

Abstractions did by Agony.

There was a soul in their.

Still clinging to the rotten

flesh.

That rotten flesh was mine.

Apparently I was alive,

something inside me was 

dead.

I was breathing than why did

I feel dead at that time ?

My eyes still had light,

but that wasn’t my light.

Deconstructors departed,

but they gave Art, disfiguration.

Shall I curse them ? 

I want to curse them,

call their names.

So I can have few

moments of strength in 

present vulnerability.

I want to inflict pain on them,

I want to avenge myself.

In this moment, revenge can 

be seen in my eyes 

And my mind set on fire,

blazzing and fierce.

Yet I know, these moments

are short lived and can be

overthrown by my misery and

agony.

I can’t curse them because

once I cared for them.